Thank You God for Teaching Me How To Love
Last entry I said, “There are two things lacking in the way I’m approaching my faith right now, so far as I can see it. First, I’m neglecting the Joy of God in His created things. I need to relax and see the world as God sees it, with unlimited love.”
God hears and answers prayers. I am, right now, being placed in situation after situation where I can learn this love, not just towards the nice benign puppies, trees, rainbows and flowers of this world, but the thorny, distorted, hostile and harmful bits. I’m learning how to love those who attack me, whether it’s justified or not. I’m learning how to step back and make decisions on how to behave and speak only after I’ve considered which path is most conducive to the increase of God’s glory through me. This week I had to learn how to turn the other cheek in a very real way, when my first instinct is, as always, to counterpunch as hard and viciously as I can.
God is also teaching me about suffering joyously. Over the last week, I’ve begun feeling drawn to charity sites, wanting to give as much as I can to things like Samaritan’s Purse, SCL’s Vietnamese School project, and as Abraham Piper pointed out earlier this week, adopt a child. The simple fact is that we are blessed with abundance. There’s pizza, hotdogs, lunchmeat, leftover taco meat, leftover hamburger helper and spanish rice in the fridge, along with assorted veggies and stuff like salsa. In the freezer, there’s a whole turkey, a couple of five-pound tubes of frozen hamburger, several bags of flash-frozen chicken breasts, and some frozen chili from last winter (still good, mind you). The pantry is stocked with more boxes of ready-to-make entrees, canned goods, and I think we still have most of a 50 lb bag of long grain rice. By the standards of the poorer parts of this world, we are fabulously, unfathomably wealthy.
I think Karri and I are going to start getting more involved than we have been. We’ve kicked around the idea of doing soup-kitchen and homeless shelter work on Thanksgiving and Christmas mornings. That will likely happen if I can get in touch with Christian Services here in town and figure out where to show up and volunteer. We’re also going to start tithing a bit more, which is to say we’re going to start tithing in general. I don’t know how much of it will go to our church. While I support them, and will likely tithe a portion to the church, there are other Christian charities out there that deserve our support.
Another idea that Karri and I are kicking around is adoption. We’re thinking we may try again for a boy in a few years, so we have another shot at a John Preston Weeks III, but I think we’re going to end up adopting as well. The way we look at it, we’ve been adopted into God’s family when we were dirtied, poor in spirit and in great need of some outside benefactor. The least we can do is to pay that forward and do the same for a child in need. God has blessed us with so much, how can we fail to share with those who have needs dire and immediate?
Lately I’ve been drawn towards mission work overseas as well, though I know the time is “not yet.” How I know that is something of a mystery (it very easily could be my own fear saying that, of course), but I don’t want to put my family in an even tougher situation, put strain on my marriage just as we’re really starting to gain some real, faith-founded strength. That seems to me to be a bit like flirting with disaster a bit overmuch. Now, that being said, if the church organizes a group and there’s some sort of childcare solution available, we’re outta here. I kinda want to go before the kids are in regular school and thus tied down to a specific place, since that makes getting care for them even harder. I don’t think it prudent to take them with us if we’re going places where Christianity is not exactly accepted and there is danger. If we’re going to the mountains of Tennessee, sure. If we’re going to Namibia, UAE, Yemen, Vietnam, China, Indonesia, etc… no. Whatever the schedule or hurdles, I think we’re going to end up overseas at some point in the nearish future, depending on the volunteer groups available and what kind of work needs to be done. I don’t think I’d be too useful if steel work needs to be done, but I can build a mean wheelchair ramp, paint like a wild man, and share the gospel to any who’ll stand still long enough to hear it.
Anyway, as for the unnamed detractors referred to at the top of this post, let me excerpt from the note I wrote to my wife as we sought to deal with the situation:
I must make a confession. Up to this point, I have not taken this seriously. Frankly, in the long term vision of the future, this petty drama matters only in how we handle it insofar as we are attentive to the will of God in moving forward. Our sufferings very likely could be our appointed cross to bear at this moment, and we need to have the humility to see that and ask God to light the path forward with His word, then suffer with joy, knowing our suffering brings us closer to Him.
With that being said the only possible response to the email we received, for a follower of Christ, is love.
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ”
1 Cor 13:4-7 (NIV)We’ve discussed this before, and it is, along with the following passage, the foundation for all of Christian life:
28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.“32 “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. 33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”34 When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.
Mark 12:28-34 (NIV)Love, then, should mark the life of a believer regenerated and being sanctified by the continued work of the Holy Spirit.
So, in love and the hope of future reconciliation, not with us but with their creator, we must follow Paul’s instructions to the church in Corinth in 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and cast these people out of our lives in order that a) we might protect ourselves and our children from the corrosive effects of the Enemy’s will working in their lives and b) that they might walk in darkness and gain an appreciation for the light, that they might perhaps be saved.
I of course don’t wish harm on them, though in moments of anger I might say otherwise. I know, however, that a life lived apart from Jesus is harm itself. Am I judging their salvation? No. I am, however, judging the fruits of their lives.
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Gal 5:19-26 (NIV)Have we produced sinful fruits in our lives? Certainly. Whenever the sinful nature starts to creep back into our lives, the fruits of sin start to show their ugly faces. Our behavior in this time has been about as exemplary as can be expected. Our initial response was laden with sarcasm, yes. However, we were responding to an uncharitable remark made about us and our faith, and the shock of the event really brought the pain and grief of the week (and indeed years) prior out on full display.
Their behavior, however, has been nothing if not a perfect Biblical example of the fruits of the sinful nature. It’s exactly what could be expected of someone so far removed from the love of God. As Paul says back in 1 Corinthians 5, should we really expect those with no faith to behave as those who do possess God-given faith? No, we shouldn’t. So, while it comes as no surprise in eternal terms that they should behave the way they have, it is still shocking and dismaying that they would do so towards family. I suppose familiarity breeds contempt, but in this case they are not nearly so familiar as they claim to be. Assumptions and hasty conclusions lead them to a place where they have painted a picture that bears little to no resemblance to reality.
So, let us bid farewell to them. May God touch their hearts and bring them to Him on their knees before the appointed time of judgment so that they can share in the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control of God. If such a time should come, I hope they do consider re-contacting us. Until then, I hope and pray God does not burden their lives overmuch, and that they would be receptive to the lessons He is trying to teach. That is all I can do for them. Pray.
-Evan
P.S. Reading list for this week (and this is just a snapshot):
http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/gospel-cowards
http://firstthings.com/blogs/evangel/2009/11/whats-holy/
http://jonandjenzila.blogspot.com/2009/11/post-that-almost-wasnt.html
http://firstthings.com/blogs/evangel/2009/11/glorified-in-their-dishonor/
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2009/11/10/carson-on-the-purpose-of-the-parables/
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/2093_when_you_dont_feel_like_it_take_heart/
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2009/4382_Satan_World_Providence_Christ/
http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2006/12/and-you-were-going-to-do-this-when.html
Very nice post. It’s always good to see your written thoughts.