“You Should Plant a Church.” – Everyone
When I was struggling with my decision to leave Software Development behind and give my life, not just for Jesus’ glory but for His ministry and the expansion and realization of the Kingdom of God here on Earth… the evidence I used was not all internal.
I mean, sure, I read the Bible and prayed like a maniac, and I even started researching what sort of niches I could find in the established denominations. But one of the things I’ve learned over the years is that you cannot truly know yourself outside of feedback from others. You will NEVER see yourself clearly if it’s just you looking. So as I prayed about it and attended church and talked to people, I kept hearing this phrase: “You’re really knowledgable and wise, you should be a teacher.”
I never really did settle on a definite, “Yes, this is precisely what I am called to do.” I have my own ideas, of course. I’d like to be a lay pastor in a church and teach at a seminary or bible college (based on what people were telling me). But since I’ve given my life to Christ for HIS glory not mine, I thought I should really let MY aspirations take a backseat to His will for me. I’ve been getting deeper and deeper into the word, sinking the well of discipleship as deep as I can get it into my life, and the deeper I go, the more my perceptions change.
Suddenly, within the last week, I’ve started hearing another phrase, even from my pastor. “You know, with your talents, gifts and your strong beliefs on the New Testament church, you would probably be frustrated with no end and likely waste your gifts on staff at a traditional, atrophied church. Have you given any thought to planting a church?”
Yeah, the thought’s occurred to me. It’s also occurred to me that I’m nowhere near ready for that. I’ve got a lot of school to get through before I can even consider it. My wife wants to get started with her career as well, so we’re not completely destitute if that’s where we’re really being led. Also, on a more personal level, I have vices I MUST put to death before I attempt a church plant. I will not, cannot subject my family to that kind of pressure and hardship without being fully armed to deal with it.
On the flip side of that coin… when Isaiah said, “here am I, Lord, send me,” and had his lips cleansed, the actual mission God had in mind was probably not something Isaiah had considered in his wildest fever-induced nightmares… and the timing wasn’t “yes, Lord, when I’m ready.” It was NOW. Similarly, when Jesus called His disciples they were mostly at work, going about their days peacefully, never even considering that their religion was empty. His call came, and it wasn’t, “yes, Lord, when I’m ready.” It was NOW.
I need kneepads for the kind of praying this deserves and requires. I also need courage, steadfastness, and all the help Jesus can give me, even if it’s in the form of family and friends supporting me.
I will be interceding for you. If there’s anything specific that you need just let me know. If you are uncomfortable saying anything here my email address is in my profile.
Thanks, man. I really need the prayer more than anything else. God has given me a really strong faith and a deep thirst for His word that has produced equally strong convictions. Those convictions are ending up in direct conflict with the world, including most churches I see.
Three people now have told me, “well, you’re not gonna find what you’re looking for on Earth.” While I understand that real faith and deep discipleship are rare, are we so cynical that we would completely disavow their existence? “Nobody can be that deep, you’re looking for a myth.” I disagree. I’m sitting right here, listening to John Piper, thinking about the faith I’ve been given and the discipleship that is my responsibility. I think about it day in and day out.
Is it too much to hope that I might find (or one day build) a church led by people who thirst for Christ like parched wanderers in the deepest desert? Who sink the well of discipleship deep week after week, who exhort their flock to greater and greater focus on God and less and less focus on themselves. Is it too much to hope for a church family that lives the love that is the result of faith in the form of open, accepting arms for the sinning seeker and active, aggressive outreach for those who may not know they need a savior?
If I can’t find a home for my particular brand of Jesus freak and Bible geek… maybe I ought to look at what it takes to build one.